Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Dramatic Eyebrows

I have three eye pencils.

1) Wide, coppery color pencil. My favorite. It's soft enough that it doesn't drag rudely across my upper lash line so I get a somewhat even stripe that I kinda cat-eye at the outer edge (a byproduct of not knowing when to stop).

2) Darkish brown, thin pencil. Less favorite but necessary. I use it to smudge yesterday's mascara in an attractive way under my lower lid and to fill in the weird thinning spaces in my eyebrows.

3) Black, glittery Mary Kate & Ashley eye pencil. I'm not even sure where this one came from. It's been in my make-up bag for a long time, just taking up a thin amount of space. I don't know if Mary Kate & Ashley are still in the black, glittery eye pencil business. They could be but I'm not sure I care enough even to google it because I'm getting off track.

So. This morning, while rushing to get ready for work, I grabbed #3 and quickly penciled in one black, glittery eyebrow. Make that one very black and glittery eyebrow. My reflection looked inquisitive and flustered at the same time. Obviously I was left with only two choices: get out the make-up remover wipes or go with it. See title for answer.

Now I'm really late for work.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Recommended Pages

I clicked on a link to see what pages Facebook thought I might like. Marvel at this...

10 Famous People Recommended (just for me) by Facebook
in ascending order by number of likes

Robert Earl Keen
Jeff Foxworthy
Aretha Franklin
Betty White
John Grisham
Little Debbie
George Strait
Jesus Christ
Michael Buble'

As you can see, my tastes are eclectic.

Malleably yours,

Monday, November 19, 2012

A Link for Your Shopping Pleasure

I'm reluctant to shop online. 

Seems crazy, I know, but there it is. I could say it's because I'm afraid of identity thief or maybe that I'm too much of a tactile person (I have to touch everything). 

The truth is, I tend to procrastinate. If I can't buy it on Christmas Eve at CVS, then, well. And if you don't think a Chia pet is an appropriate Christmas gift, I'm sorry (that you don't understand the whole it's-the-thought-that-counts spirit of the Holiday Season). Where was I? Oh. This year I'm going to make a gift list, in the next day or two, and I'm going to try this eBate thing that Lori has been raving about. Supposedly I can log onto their site which will launch me across cyberspace and into the online store of my choice. By doing so I will get a rebate on my purchase. We'll see.

Here's the link if you want to sign up too*...

Shopping in my pj's this year,

* I will get a kickback if you sign up through this link and make a purchase. Yet, it won't cost you any extra. Another miracle of modern science.

Friday, August 3, 2012

New Favorite Sign

So what if Texas is backwards and the star is about a hundred miles too high, they serve tacos AND hamburgers.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Vitamin D

I quit Dr Pepper again on Monday. Mostly. I'm down to one can a day which, for me, is the same thing as quitting.

Most of my carbs and sugars are coming from that one DP. And I'm not feeling right. I'm pretty sure I've been run over by a 4-wheeler and all I can think about is chocolate. Lucky for me I rediscovered my vitamin D soft chews. It feels good to satisfy two needs at once ~ my body's desire for vitamin D and my craving for chocolate.

Just one question. Is it possible to OD on Caltrate? Because I've almost eaten the whole package.

Soft and chewy,

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Exit Poll

I spoke with my doctor about my sore hips.

: ( no tigress pose

Turns out somewhere just short of consciousness I attempted an unsuccessful dismount from the surgery stirrups. The doctor said it happens to a number of ladies. They begin to wake up, realize their feet are in the air and try to right themselves.

As difficult as this inconvenience is making it for me to sleep on my side, I'm seeing this as an opportunity. I believe Lola and I should see about raising some grant money to research this phenomena. I know. You're probably thinking our Horny Goat Weed research fizzled out before it even began but this is going to be so much simpler.

We'll develop a simple questionnaire, an exit poll of sorts, that asks women who experience this sore hip syndrome a few cascading questions. As soon as there is one 'no' answer, the questionnaire is done.

I'm thinking...

1) Have you ever woken up in a stranger's bed?

2) Were you drunk or otherwise compromised?

3) Did you attempt a hasty escape?

4) Were you successful?

5) Can you provide any helpful get-away tips?

This is a rough draft. I'm sure Lola will have some input.

In the name of science,

FYI ~ for our research to remain scientific, objective and beyond reproach, I respectfully will go ahead and disqualify myself as a test subject.
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