I spoke with my doctor about my sore hips.
: ( no tigress pose
Turns out somewhere just short of consciousness I attempted an unsuccessful dismount from the surgery stirrups. The doctor said it happens to a number of ladies. They begin to wake up, realize their feet are in the air and try to right themselves.
As difficult as this inconvenience is making it for me to sleep on my side, I'm seeing this as an opportunity. I believe Lola and I should see about raising some grant money to research this phenomena. I know. You're probably thinking our Horny Goat Weed research fizzled out before it even began but this is going to be so much simpler.
We'll develop a simple questionnaire, an exit poll of sorts, that asks women who experience this sore hip syndrome a few cascading questions. As soon as there is one 'no' answer, the questionnaire is done.
1) Have you ever woken up in a stranger's bed?
2) Were you drunk or otherwise compromised?
3) Did you attempt a hasty escape?
4) Were you successful?
5) Can you provide any helpful get-away tips?
This is a rough draft. I'm sure Lola will have some input.
In the name of science,
FYI ~ for our research to remain scientific, objective and beyond reproach, I respectfully will go ahead and disqualify myself as a test subject.